Find accountability partners
We can do all things until we don’t have anyone counting on us to do them. Be honest with yourself. If left to your own devices, how much would you really get done. I know there are the meticulous list makers who make them and check them one by one and smile while doing it. That person is not me. I need a deadline. And not one of those, get to it when you can or do it by the end of the season dates. I need it’s due by 2:03 pm on the 13th of the month. And missing it has to have real consequences like you will cause the lunar eclipse or otherwise, I will push the “due date” boundary.
Well, that’s how I used to be until I got accountability partners. If you have real goals you are trying to accomplish, you need more than one person to hold you responsible ASAP! They don’t have to be mean but they need to be persistent and able to call you out on your ish. But everyone cannot be an accountability partner; myself included. I’m too “just go with the flow” to hold others to task. Plus, I can’t risk anyone saying by the way how are your goals going. Therefore, let’s take a look at who CANNOT be your accountability partner.
1. Your best friend. I know. You love her. You would consider doing a bid for her. She’s your rock, your sword, your shield… Wait, that’s Jesus. The point is that she is there for you through all your good and all your messiness and she can’t tell you to stop your whining and complete the task without giving you permission to be you. She will make a joke and remind you about the last time you went out together and that will lead to reminiscing and boom, bam, ding, three hours later and you’ve missed your deadline. She’s still your best friend just not an accountability partner.
2. Your mother. You are her baby no matter what space in line you fall into. Even though you may talk to her everyday and she asks you what you’re working on, she won’t hold you accountable. Why? Because if she is a mom that calls you to task, you will simply begin to lie to her. Yup. You will lie to your own mother because you cannot stand the thought of her disappointment in you. So you will say, yes the huge project is almost done when you’ve only completed the outline. Or, of course I can still come to dinner even though that will give you less than a few hours left to complete it before your deadline. Let your mom be your mom only.
3. Your significant other. Your SO may be your closest confidant, amazing at killing goals, but would be a horrible choice for an accountability partner. The reason why is simple: resentment. For you will resent your accountability from time to time if they’re doing their job correctly. And resentment has no place in a healthy relationship. Imagine the scenario. Babe, how much longer will it take you to finish the project. You know you have a deadline. With blaring eyes, you will then recall, in not so nice language, how that run to the electronics store to get one thing turned into three hours and a tech support call instead of you being able to work. So instead of laying out your plan for finishing it, an argument erupts and the deadline is damned. Keep your boo accountable for meeting your needs not your due dates.
4. Your twin friend. She’s so great. She watches the same shows as you. You have similar taste in clothes, politics, authors; she just gets you, in trouble cause she has deadlines too and will call you as a distraction. You’ve tried being each other’s accountability partners before, but there’s way too many other interesting things to talk about instead. After a four recap of all your favorites, she or you will say, don’t you have something due at midnight? This epiphany gets you off the phone at 10:30. That’s just enough time to wallow in self-pity and write/draw/paint like a ferocious beast. Twin friends are incapable of holding one another accountable. Just meet for coffee when you need a break instead
Now, go through and see who’s left to choose from. It could be an aunt, a coworker or another friend. But, if it’s no one, consider hiring a professional coach. There’s something about putting your money where your mouth is that truly works. And think of how proud you will be when you are living your best life because you made your goals and smashed them. After all, accountability starts with you being accountable to your authentic self.